


Watch You Unravel

by Demenior



Series: Now It's a Party [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Alien Gender/Sexuality, Alpha Kolivan (Voltron), Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Come Sharing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Friendships, Dominance, Explicit Consent, First Time, Gen, Group Sex, Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Loss of Virginity, Multiple Partners, Orgy, POV Keith (Voltron), Pack Bonding, Protective Kolivan (Voltron), Public Sex, Size Difference, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Unrequited Love, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 10:35:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20044573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demenior/pseuds/Demenior
Summary: Keith’s usually avoided sexual things with the Caste thus far. He understands that it’s their culture— his culture, technically— and that it’s normal for them, but it makes him feel uncomfortable. But now… now with this orgy… and Shiro’s going to be there.Keith wishes he weren’t so weak. He shouldn’t go to this. He should maintain the distance between him and Shiro, until he knows how to be just friends with Shiro.Even as he thinks it, he knows it’s impossible. Because Keith has been in love with Shiro for years.orHow can Keith fit into the Caste when he doesn't know how to belong? Kolivan comforts him the best way he knows how: sex.





	Watch You Unravel

**Author's Note:**

> I know lots of people loved the first story in this series, featuring Shiro diving head-first into the insanely sex-positive culture of the BoM. And a lot of you had questions about how Keith would fit. And I said I would probably never write that because it would be complicated!! 
> 
> And yet here we are, lmao.
> 
> This is how I see Keith fitting into things- based on my own thoughts on Keith's sexuality and how his childhood and loss of his parents affected him. And also my thoughts on his relationship with Shiro. Which results in the classic Demenior blend of 'porn, but with FEELINGS'.
> 
> Things get a little murky, and they don't necessarily all get solved in this story, but there has to be a breaking point, and a starting point, and both of those are here for Keith. The poor boy has a lot to learn about trust, and it might be that these horny aliens are the best ones to teach him about it :) 
> 
> ALSO: [Galra dicks look like this](https://external-preview.redd.it/qQwWjVDw6i9jU99jdqFZlnlgoUilKt5g6MAZ5nvaEkY.gif?width=500&height=261.780104712&s=98376847678621b703792cad816a6e5496206634) and then, when unfurled, [look a bit more like this, tho slightly more "bloomed" (but wilder colors)](http://i.imgur.com/uqT6yDw.jpg)

“The trip will not be long,” Ulaz assures him when Keith asks if he can help, “I can handle the ship.”

It’s a couple of days that Keith’s going to take to do some training with Kolivan and the rest of the Blades. Seeing the opportunity to double up, Ulaz and Shiro were coming to visit as well.

Keith is happy they’re coming. He doesn’t get a lot of time with just him and Shiro, to be like they were before Voltron, before Kerberos. When it was the two of them against the world.

“Hey,” Shiro says, catching Keith just as Keith’s about to go find somewhere to hole away, “can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” Keith says, and follows Shiro to a more private end of the little ship the three of them are taking.

But it’s not the two of them anymore. It’s Shiro and Ulaz; and Keith.

Keith likes Ulaz, he really does. The Galra is a great teacher, and a good fighter. He’s smart, he’s actually kind of funny, and he’s useful for the team. He’s completely in love with Shiro, and would die to protect him. Ulaz _saved_ Shiro from the Empire. Keith trusts Shiro with Ulaz, he knows that Ulaz understands how important Shiro is.

Keith also wishes that Ulaz wasn’t here. That he’d saved Shiro and then never come back, because then maybe things would be different. Or, at least, Keith wishes that Shiro didn’t love Ulaz.

They take a seat at the little table in the corner. Ulaz has been trying to teach them some galactic card game, but neither Shiro or Keith are able to remember all the intricate rules. The cards are still scattered on the table.

“So we haven’t been with the Caste at the same time,” Shiro starts off.

Keith wants to bolt, like he has every time Shiro’s brought this up.

Shiro reaches out to grab him, maybe to steady him? But Keith tenses up under his hand and stays put.

“I wanted to talk about boundaries and make sure you’re okay,” Shiro says, “I’m here with Ulaz, and because I have work to do with Kolivan. But the Caste is your—”

“You’re Caste too,” Keith points out.

Shiro nods, “Yeah, by… well… through Ulaz. But they’re your Caste. And I don’t want to get in the way of you bonding with them.”

“You mean having sex?” Keith asks.

Shiro’s ears get a little red, “Yeah. Well, maybe, if that’s what you want to do.”

They haven’t talked about how sex and friendship go hand-in-hand in Galra culture since Keith went to Shiro to talk about Kolivan wanting to throw a Hunt for Keith. Shiro was the one who’d explained to Keith what that meant, and then, had admitted to Keith that he’d done a Hunt.

Keith had eventually turned the offer down, but he spent a lot of nights thinking about that talk with Shiro. What did Shiro mean by _a lot?_

“I don’t know if I’m going to,” Keith admits.

Shiro nods, “Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I can talk to Yutuk and Haela if—”

It’s Keith’s turn to get red in the face. Shiro had introduced Keith to the two younger Blades, hoping that their shared youth would make it easier to form friendships. Yutuk and Haela were friendly alright, and so far, they are the only Galra that Keith has attempted sex with. He backed out before they could get his pants off. Shiro doesn’t know that— or, at least, Shiro hasn’t said that he knows. Or that he’s interested in Keith’s sex life.

“I can do that myself,” Keith assures Shiro.

“I know Kolivan said he wanted to have a, uh, an orgy,” Shiro says.

“Oh,” Keith says. That means one of them will have to sit it out. Up until now, Shiro has always made a point of avoiding the Caste whenever Keith goes to visit. So they’ve never had any overlap or any danger of having sex with each other.

Keith’s kind of been wanting it to happen. But also not. It’s complicated.

“Like I said,” Shiro explains, “I’m here with Ulaz, so we’ll sit out if you want to go. But if you don’t, um, could you let me know?”

Keith swallows around the lump in his throat. Shiro’s really telling him that he and Ulaz _want_ to go to the orgy, “Why… why don’t you just go anyways?”

Shiro’s eyebrows raise, and his cheeks are going pink. Keith thinks it’s a good look on him, “But— I don’t want to intrude on your time—”

“I don’t mind,” Keith says.

“Oh,” Shiro says, and looks away for a second, “really? I don’t want to make it weird for—”

“It’s fine,” Keith says, “whether I go or not. You… you should go. If you want to. You’re Caste too.”

“Okay,” Shiro nods, and looks back to Keith, “are you sure?”

“Yes,” Keith lies. His brain is starting to race ahead. If Shiro goes… it’s just Caste, right? Sex is how they bond. It means… it means Keith might have…

No, he needs to shut that thought down.

“Are you done being prudes?” Ulaz calls. He can see how red both of them are in the face, just casually discussing possibly being in an orgy of aliens together.

“It’s not prudish!” Shiro argues, but he’s on his feet and already walking over to Ulaz. The Galra leans down to nuzzle Shiro’s nose with his own, and he mumbles something that makes Shiro laugh.

“Keith I wanted to show you a magnetic phenomenon we will be passing soon,” Ulaz calls.

“Coming!” Keith shouts back. Shiro and Ulaz take that as confirmation and continue back into the cockpit.

Keith’s usually avoided sexual things with the Caste thus far. He understands that it’s their culture— his culture, technically— and that it’s normal for them, but it makes him feel uncomfortable.

But now… now with this orgy… and Shiro’s going to be there.

Keith wishes he weren’t so weak. He shouldn’t go to this. He should maintain the distance between him and Shiro, until he knows how to be just friends with Shiro.

Even as he thinks it, he knows it’s impossible. Because Keith has been in love with Shiro for years.  
  


* * *

  
Time passes quickly with the Marmora. Keith throws himself into training— he _has_ to be better, faster, stronger, and most of the warriors are happy to take time sparring with him. Even Kolivan spends a few hours with him.

This also leads to other complications.

Regris grinds down on Keith after he’s finally pinned him, and offers to take training _elsewhere_. Keith turns him down.

Yutuk and Haela want Keith to come stay with them overnight. They promise to take good care of him. Keith turns them down too.

Turuk, Xallo, Vrei, Cassire, Vurrit, Frux, all of them. Keith keeps getting offers, and he keeps turning them down.

Keith knows they’re being friendly, trying to invite him into their fun so they can all get along better. Keith thinks about their hands on him, about being pinned down, and feels sick.

He sees Shiro a few times. A lot of times. They eat together. They even do a little sparring together. But Keith sees Shiro in the company of other Galra. He sees him laugh when Vrei licks the side of his face, or with Tiruk throws Shiro over his shoulder with Xallo not too far behind. Keith also hears the other Galra talking, inviting a friend to come with them to where Shiro’s left an open invitation. He sees Shiro, even Ulaz, in their black collars. Keith knows what they mean.

Keith goes back to his private room and wonders what would happen if he showed up. Would Shiro turn him away? Would he be so strung out that he wouldn’t know Keith? Would… would Shiro like it? Maybe. Keith thinks he could be good to Shiro. For Shiro.

Would Keith like it?

_Yes. _Of course.

But he can’t have Shiro. If he lets himself break, even once, Keith won’t be able to stop and he’ll just ruin everything between him and Shiro. The rest of the Caste might kick him out too. For all that they love promiscuity— they are fiercely defensive of Shiro and Ulaz’s status as mates.

“May I join you tonight?” Kolivan asks one evening. Keith feels like all of the Galra are starting to circle him. They want him to be like Shiro, to be so friendly and eager to spread his legs and let them do whatever they want to him.

Keith can’t do that.

“I’m tired,” Keith lies, “I just want to sleep.”

“Indulge me,” Kolivan insists, “I hate the idea of you being alone.”

Keith’s used to being alone. It’s his normal state. And he just needs to be okay with it again, especially after he started picturing what it would be like to be alone… but with Shiro.

“I’m fine,” Keith says.  
  


* * *

  
The day of the orgy arrives and Keith wants to be sick. He debates leaving the base altogether.

And yet he finds himself at the nest, fully clothed, and waiting. He’s early. Maybe he’s too early? Is this weird? How does an orgy even start? Do keeners get started early, or does everyone wait until the appointed time to start… to start what? Does everyone just rush each other and start having sex or do they do stretches first?

He still doesn’t know if he wants to join in or not. Is it bad if he just watches. Does he want to watch?

As if summoned, Yutuk and Haela run into the room, naked, and chasing each other with loud shrieks and yowls. They leap into the soft nest and wrestle one another. The wrestling quickly turns to rubbing their cocks together.

Vrei bounds in, laughing, and she’s carrying some food that she clearly stole from someone, and Tiruk storms in after her. The massive Galra catches her and tackles her into the nest. He finishes eating while she starts grinding down on top of him. Keith watches in slight mortification as Tiruk’s huge cock slides out of it’s sheath.

Awrul, Mhaer and Cassire stroll in, taking in the scene. Mhaer waves at Keith. Keith nervously waves back. Is Mhaer going to talk to him? Invite him in?

Thankfully not.

The three Galra wade in and pry Yutuk and Haela apart. Cassire sinks right down on Haela’s cock, while Awrul and Mhaer pin Yutuk between them and start rutting against him.

More and more Galra are joining, taking up space or encroaching on other couples. Everyone’s laughing, and moaning. Keith spots Thace and Regris joining in. His heart leaps into his throat when Shiro and Ulaz arrive. Back on earth Keith and Shiro have gone skinny dipping while they were out in the bush, so Keith’s seen Shiro naked before. But not like this.

Shiro’s wearing the black collar, one that matches Ulaz’s. It’s how they declare that they’re mates, even when they’re having with other Galra. He’s covered in scars that weren’t there before, not back on earth. And he’s flushed down his chest. Keith can’t help but sneak a peek at his cock. He feels like his heart aches from how much he wants Shiro— all of him— just to himself.

There’s something shiny on Shiro’s thighs and Keith realizes, slapping his hand over his mouth to cover the sound that almost jumps out, that Ulaz and Shiro must have been having sex before this. Or, they were getting Shiro ready to have sex. And that’s lube on Shiro’s thighs. Or spit. Keith’s mind is still spinning on that one specific detail— god, how long did they take? Did Ulaz use his fingers? His tongue? How did Shiro moan through it, or did Shiro do it to himself?

Yutuk and Haela launch out of the crowd with excited squeals. Ulaz drops into a defensive position, making responding snarling sounds, and catches their tackle. He rolls with them into the nest. The younger Galra are delighted with Ulaz’s attention. They start batting with his hands like they’re fighting him, just as much as Ulaz tries to pin them.

Thace and Mhaer are the first to approach Shiro. They climb out of the nest to butt heads with him, nuzzling, and then Shiro’s being drawn into the nest. Mhaer sits on the edge and spreads his legs. His cock is _huge, _a big dark blue lump that curves noticeably to the right. Keith’s stomach drops. He feels like he should leave. Right now, before anything happens. But he can’t move an inch. Shiro kneels between Mhaer’s legs. Keith stretches his neck a bit so he can see when Shiro starts licking, when he brings his hands up and his head starts bobbing and Keith _knows_ he’s got his mouth on Mhaer’s dick. Thace gets down behind Shiro, blocking him from Keith’s view, and Keith can just see Thace’s back as he puts his hands all over Shiro. Mhaer’s big ears are flapping, and his underbite gets even more noticeable every time he scrunches up his face in pleasure.

Keith can’t hear them specifically over everyone else, but he can only imagine the happy sounds Mhaer is probably making.

Ulaz has gotten pushed onto his back so that Vrei can sink down onto his cock, and Yutuk and Haela are excited to crawl over to Shiro. They push Thace out of the way and practically pull Shiro off of Mhaer in their excitement. Mhaer barks a displeased sound— and Keith can see that his cock is starting to unfurl. Bright blue spots are showing, like petals unfurling, where pink come is oozing through.

Keith has to shift over to keep watching. Shiro’s on his back, legs wrapped around Haela’s waist, as Haela mounts him. Keith’s breathing picks up. It’s happening. He watches Shiro throw his head back as Haela sinks into him. Shiro’s toes curl, and he even kicks his feet in delight. In a split second, Keith wonders what it would be like to have sex with Haela. To know he’s had sex with Shiro. Yutuk nuzzles Haela’s face and then crawls to hover over Shiro’s face so he can angle his cock towards Shiro’s mouth. Shiro’s whole body jerks as Haela starts thrusting.

Keith’s face heats up. Yutuk and Haela are still young, for Galra. They’re not completely grown, so they should be manageable for a human to take.

The young Galra— possibly too excited by the orgy— are distracted when, finally, Kolivan enters the room. They leap off of Shiro and run for their leader. Shiro shouts in surprise, rolling over onto his stomach to push himself up. But he doesn’t get the chance before Regris and Tiruk are on him.

Kolivan gathers Yutuk and Haela under his arms and his ears flutter as the younger Galra lick under his chin. Kolivan gets to the edge of the nest before he takes a seat and then both Yutuk and Haela drop down to lick at his cock. Xallo rushes over to nuzzle Kolivan, also licking at the underside of his chin. Nearly all of the Galra stop what they’re doing to try and give their leader their affection.

There’s definitely a difference between how the Caste treat one another, compared to how they are with Kolivan. Most of the Caste wrestle a bit with one another, each of them trying to be the more dominant or aggressive partner. None of them do that with Kolivan. They’re like starving dogs, Kolivan is the slice of steak they would die for, but they won’t make a move until he invites them.

Keith wonders if he’s expected to do that. He’s sparred with Kolivan before. Kolivan has kicked his ass every time, but Keith thinks he could surprise the Caste Leader by challenging him when he isn’t expecting it.

Kolivan is licking foreheads, nuzzling his scent glands against others faces, and gently pushing too-eager Galra off of him before he can make his first round of introductions. His cock is out, bobbing heavily between his legs, and if the Galra can’t get to his face, they’re trying to lick or kiss him there before Kolivan politely shoos them away.

At one point Kolivan looks up and makes eye contact with Keith. Keith brings his knees to his chest and pretends like he didn’t notice. He’s the only one watching. And if Kolivan tries to make him join in, or tries to make an _example_ of him by telling Keith to have sex with him, well, Keith would rather bite him and run away than be forced to submit.

Frux is the first that Kolivan gives some sort of signal to— Keith misses it— but Frux drops onto his back and Kolivan kneels over him, and then he’s cradling Frux’s face in his huge hands while he thrusts their cocks together. Absolutely no one else tries to join in by coming up from behind Kolivan. Cassire presents herself in some way, or says something, and then Kolivan’s huge head is between her legs and Keith knows enough about Galra anatomy to know that Kolivan’s tongue is _way_ up there.

The orgy starts to return to normal. Or, really, as normal as an orgy gets. Kolivan lays on his side, legs spread, and lots of Galra line up for the chance to rub cocks with or get stuffed by their leader. Most of the girls take turns letting Kolivan eat them out, and then go jump on someone else once he dismisses them.

Ulaz works his way through a host of Galra. He gets nearly as much attention as Kolivan does. He and Thace get Xallo pinned between them, and Keith watches in abject horror as they _both_ fuck her at the same time. She laughs and nuzzles them both, only turning to a loud shriek as Thace bites into the ruff of fur around her throat, and Ulaz laughs in delight. He pulls out, and Thace and Xallo stay stuck together for a little while and Ulaz hops onto another Galra. At one point he has Yutuk under him like how Kolivan had Frux under him, and Yutuk yowls as his cock blooms with Ulaz’s hand wrapped tight around it. The ridges on his cock expand to their widest, displaying the bright red coloring on the underside of the ridges, and bright pink come streams over Ulaz’s fingers and onto Yutuk’s fur. Haela and Vurrit both swoop in to start licking it up.

Keith sees Shiro next when Kolivan pulls him out from a pile of Galra, yanking him by the ankle like he weighs nothing. There’s bright pink streaks on Shiro’s face, and dripping all down his chest. Kolivan licks his cheek with a broad swipe of his blue tongue, and then pushes Shiro onto all fours.

Keith swallows around the lump in his throat. There’s no way. Kolivan is too big. He’s _too big_. Even with all the sex, all the touching, Kolivan’s cock is barely flared. But it’s too big for Shiro. Kolivan leans over Shiro’s back, to nuzzle him, and Keith has the perfect vantage to see Shiro’s face as Kolivan enters him. Keith digs his fingernails into his palms so hard he might draw blood. He could scream. Shiro looks for a second like it hurts— but then he looks like he _loves _it.

Why can’t Keith have that? Why can’t he just dive in? He could be there, he could touch Shiro— he could be _with_ Shiro. He could be part of that. Shiro could be happy because Keith made him happy and everything would be fine.

Ulaz comes out of the tangle of bodies, and Shiro’s face lights up at the sight of him. Kolivan doesn’t even stop fucking Shiro while Ulaz leans down to quickly kiss Shiro, and then Ulaz is kneeling in front of him, letting Shiro suck on him while Ulaz starts nuzzling with Kolivan over Shiro.

Tiruk and Xallo have cornered Frux, and are dog-piling him. Cassire and Vrei are tangled together and going down on each other. Yutuk is grinding up on Awrul, while Awrul and Vurrit lick at Mhaer’s big dick. Haela and Regris are both shouting as they come all over one another.

Keith tries to not just watch Shiro. He tries to look away. Then he feels weird for watching at all, and he wants to leave, but he doesn’t want to be noticed. Sometimes, over everything, he can hear Shiro moaning, and it makes his stomach warm and his hands feel sweaty and keeps him rooted to the spot.  
  


* * *

  
“Hey, are you okay?” Shiro asks, dropping down to sit beside Keith. Less beside Keith and more practically falling into Keith. He’s heavy, and doesn’t seem to notice he’s leaning. He’s sweaty, with raised red scratches on his skin from where Galra have been holding onto him. His flush travels down his chest, and Keith looks away before he starts to stare. Keith’s fully clothed and watching an orgy. Shiro’s naked. This is totally fine. Keith lost track of how long the orgy has been going on for.

“Yeah,” Keith shrugs.

Shiro opens his mouth, closes it, and then tries a different train of thought, “As long as you’re good, you know? I just— you should do what makes you comfortable. And if you want to join in, or you want me to go, or you’re cool to stay here, you should do that.”

Shiro’s never rambled like this before. Keith glances at him from the corner of his eye.

“I just want you to be okay, you know? And I was worried that you’re not happy but I should trust you to do you, and, well, if you’re good, then that’s great.”

Shiro pauses a moment, looking a little confused, and looks to Keith for help.

“Are _you_ okay?” Keith asks.

Shiro lets out a long sigh and pushes his bangs back out of his face, “Sorry. I think I’m a little more heat-drunk than I thought.”

Shiro told Keith about that, to warn him. They don’t know if Keith will react like a human or a Galra, meaning, will his heat be out of control like Shiro or will he feel normal like the rest of the Caste. Shiro explained that he actually kind of likes it, and usually all he wants is close contact or more sex. Keith hasn’t decided yet if he wants to go far enough to find out.

It’s on the tip of Keith’s tongue to ask if Shiro wants to go somewhere private. But that feels too heavy to drop.

“Do you…” Keith pauses, wondering if this is going to be a stupid thing to say, but Shiro’s already almost horizontal by this point, “do you want to lay down?”

Shiro lets out a groan like Keith just said something miraculous, “Yes!”

And then he drops sideways into Keith, and sprawls across Keith’s lap, head pillowed on Keith’s thigh as his shoulder comes dangerously close to digging into Keith’s groin. An arm comes around Keith’s waist, hugging him tight, as Shiro nuzzles into Keith’s stomach.

Keith doesn’t know where to put his hands. Shiro sighs happily and relaxes. Keith can practically feel him go boneless.

He looks down at Shiro’s relaxed face, the cut of his jawline and the small scars that aren’t visible except at this distance. His hair, though messy now, still has the well-maintained line that it’s cut to, and Keith dares to trace a finger around the curve of Shiro’s ear. Shiro hums happily and turns his head to give Keith better access to his hair.

Keith’s not entirely sure what he’s doing, but he runs his fingers through Shiro’s hair. Shiro’s head gets heavy in his lap, and he feels Shiro’s fingers twist in the fabric of his shirt. It seems to be a good thing, and Keith feels emboldened by the casual intimacy of it all. It also gives Keith the opportunity to admire Shiro’s back up close, lined with criss-crossing scars both raised and carved out, to the trim of his waist and to his ass. Keith jerks his eyes away, though he’s not sure why. He did just watch Shiro have sex with a few other Galra already. From a distance it felt like it was okay, but now up close Keith isn’t sure if it’s okay for him to be blatantly looking like he wants to.

The orgy has been going on for a long, long time. Some Galra have tapped out, and are sitting around the edge of the nest. Kolivan is one of them, though there’s still one or two Galra at any given time who are trying to coax his cock back to life. Others are still going. Ulaz is one of them. He’s currently making Cassire scream as he thrusts into her. Thace and Regris are playing together.

“Are you all done?”

Keith’s startled out of his scan. He jumps, enough to make Shiro grumble at being jolted, and looks up. Awrul is nudging Shiro’s foot with his own, though he glances at Keith, and Shiro’s head in Keith’s lap.

His eyes light up, “Oh, can I join?”

Keith freezes up.

“Yeah,” Shiro says without lifting his head, and he shifts to spread his legs a bit wider.

Shiro must have forgotten where he is. He didn’t even open his eyes to see who was talking. Awrul doesn’t bother with further questions, kneeling over Shiro, and Keith is frozen in shock. Shiro keens as Awrul sinks into him, and Keith feels like an electric prod has been rammed up his spine.

Awrul moans loudly, eyes closed and ears folded back in pleasure, “Humans feel _so_ good!”

And then, before Keith can even process _that_, Awrul’s fucking Shiro. In Keith’s lap. Keith wonders if he should stop this, but then Shiro fists his hand in Keith’s shirt. It lifts the fabric enough that he can feel Shiro’s breath on his stomach. Shiro’s so close, he’s right here, then maybe Keith should just…

No. No this isn’t right. Shiro’s heat-drunk. He doesn’t seem to be entirely aware of himself. Keith shouldn’t take advantage of that. Keith’s whole body is getting rocked every time Awrul thrusts, pushing Shiro further into Keith’s lap. Awrul cocks his head to the side when he realizes that Shiro isn’t sucking Keith off like he’d assumed. 

“Why isn’t he using his mouth?” Awrul laughs, “Shiro! That’s your best part! C’mon, be nice to Keith!”

Shiro grunts, and Keith can see the furrow in his brow that means he’s thinking. Keith isn’t sure what’s worse. If Shiro realizes he’s here, with Keith, and stops everything. Or if Shiro’s so far gone that he just unzips Keith’s fly and—

No. Keith can’t do this.

He startles both Shiro and Awrul when he shoves Shiro away. Keith scrambles to his feet, and he’s running for the door before anyone can try and stop him.

Keith made a mistake. He should never have gone. And he’ll never do it again.

He doesn’t stop running until he’s all the way home, back in his private quarters, and finally, finally alone.  
  


* * *

  
There’s a knock on his door a little while later. Keith doesn’t get up from his seat on his bed to answer it. Hopefully they’ll think he’s not here. Because it’s probably Shiro. Or Awrul. Or Ulaz. He’s expecting someone to come talk to him about how badly he fucked up today.

The door opens. Kolivan walks in. He’s still naked, and Keith doesn’t want to look at him. So he stares at the floor.

“Keith,” Kolivan rumbles.

“I won’t go to another one,” Keith promises, “you don’t have to worry about me again.”

Kolivan enters the room now, taking Keith’s words as permission. The door slides shut behind him. He sits down beside Keith on the bed, and a moment later Keith thinks about the fact that Kolivan is probably covered in all sorts of bodily fluids and now Keith will have to do laundry.

“What should I be worried about?” Kolivan asks.

“I didn’t join in,” Keith deflects. Maybe Kolivan didn’t see the thing with Shiro and Awrul. Maybe Keith has been discrete enough about Shiro all along.

“You didn’t have sex,” Kolivan agrees, “but you usually do not have sex. So you were behaving normally.”

“Are you keeping track of my sex life?” Keith demands.

“Yes,” Kolivan says.

Keith pauses a moment, absorbing that information.

“Why?” he demands.

“You are part of my Caste. You spent many years away from us, from your culture. I want to be sure you are adjusting, that you are making connections. That you are happy.”

“I’m not the type to sleep around,” Keith shrugs.

“Shiro said that. At first,” Kolivan muses.

“Shiro’s different,” Keith says sharply. And it’s not so much an insult as it is praise. Keith cringes internally, and wonders if he’s given himself away.

“Ah,” Kolivan says, “I suppose he is.”

He doesn’t say anything more. Keith doesn’t know what else there is to say. Why is Kolivan here?

“If you’re doing your leader thing and checking in, then, I’m all good. You can go back to the fun,” Keith waves him off.

“You fled,” Kolivan states, “why?”

“Awrul and Shiro were having sex—”

“You watched both of them have sex several times. Are you upset because this is the first time you and Shiro have had sex?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Keith leaps to his feet with the surge of rage that hits him, “I didn’t touch him!”

Kolivan regards him with a long stare. Keith feels like he’s deflating. And that makes him mad.

“You don't know anything about me,” Keith spits, “I don’t need you coming in and checking on me like some baby throwing a tantrum, okay? I’m fine, I don’t want to talk about the orgy because I won’t be going to any more! So go!”

“I don’t want you to be alone,” Kolivan says.

“Trust me,” Keith scoffs, “I’m fine on my own. I have been for most of my life.”

“I know,” Kolivan says, “that’s why I worry.”

That’s confusing. Keith thinks on it a moment.

“Why?” he finally asks.

Kolivan pats the bed beside him, inviting Keith back in. Keith sits down only because his legs are sore.

“Galra are social creatures,” Kolivan states.

“I’m only half,” Keith argues.

Kolivan gives Keith the chance to continue, before he says, “Humans are social too.”

“Okay, so?” Keith demands.

“You have been alone for a long time,” Kolivan says. Now it feels like they’re going in circles.

“What are you saying?” Keith asks.

“You’ve been very brave, and very strong, to be alone,” Kolivan explains, “but I worry that you do not know how to not be alone.”

“I’m around people, and Galra, all the time,” Keith scoffs, “you aren’t making sense.”

Kolivan chuckles, and Keith can’t believe they’re having this conversation while Kolivan is completely naked.

“Intimacy can be terrifying,” Kolivan says, “I do not understand entirely how humans bridge that gap, but amongst Galrakind—”

“You have sex,” Keith finishes.

“It is not just sex. It is bonding, forming connections to those who love you. I feel like you don’t understand this, or, possibly, that you can’t understand this.”

“I get it,” Keith shrugs uncomfortably, “I just don’t want to have sex with you.”

“But you want to have sex with Shiro,” Kolivan drops.

Keith feels like he’s been punched. He doesn’t say anything.

“Shiro is different,” Kolivan echoes.

“Don’t,” Keith hisses. Don’t use Shiro against him like this. Don’t acknowledge that Keith has feelings for someone he can’t have. Don’t point out how pathetic Keith is. Don’t, don’t, don’t.

“Shiro is the only person I have seen you have any sort of connection to,” Kolivan says, “and I hoped, with time, you would expand and grow off of that connection. That you would form more, and open yourself up to your Caste.”

“I’ve made friends,” Keith defends himself, “I’m friends with, uh, with Yutuk. Haela. Um… Regris.”

“Are you?” Kolivan presses.

“I don’t have to have sex with people to be friends with them!” Keith shouts.

“You haven’t had sex with Shiro,” Kolivan muses, “and yet…”

With nothing else to say, or words to explain, Keith can only say, “Shiro’s different.”

They sit in silence. Keith goes over the talk. Is… is there something wrong with him? The other Galra are all so close— and of course they are. They’ve all grown up together, trained together. They all have sex with each other. They’ve been Caste for a long time, some of them for longer than Keith’s been alive. How is he supposed to fit into that?

Shiro is Keith’s closest friend. Is Keith in love with Shiro just because they’re friends, because Keith doesn’t have anyone else?

“Am I broken?” Keith chokes out.

Kolivan finally moves, slowly, and his big arm comes around Keith’s shoulders to pull him in. He’s hairy, a little stinky, but solid.

“No,” Kolivan says firmly.

“Even if I don’t want to have sex with anyone?” Keith presses, “because I don’t think that’s changing.”

“You are not broken,” Kolivan insists, “sex is simply one route to intimacy. It is not the only way.”

So Keith can stay a part of the Caste, and not have to have sex. He doesn’t have to submit, or please everyone else just to be liked.

“Have you always been adverse to sex?” Kolivan asks curiously, “or is it because we are not human?”

Keith shakes his head, “I just… I see how they act with Shiro. He’s always getting pushed around and, uh,” Keith gestures to Kolivan’s crotch, where his cock has retracted back into his sheath, “I don’t, um, Galra are big. And Shiro’s a big guy, but I’m, well, I’m not that big. I might die.”

Kolivan chuckles, “Have you considered that you do not have to have sex like Shiro?”

“But that’s what everyone loves about Shiro,” and Keith’s face heats up, “the-they all talk about how much they like, um, doing him.”

“You are not Shiro,” Kolivan points out wisely.

“Yeah,” Keith says. He supposes that’s a revelation. It wouldn’t be so hard to just… not do things he doesn’t want to do.

“Is that all?” Kolivan asks.

Keith shrugs, “I just… maybe? I haven’t really wanted to have sex with anyone. I’m not really interested. Even with humans. I tried it, and, well… it wasn’t bad. I just don’t go crazy for it.”

Kolivan nods like this all makes sense, “It’s good to look at what holds you back. Perhaps this is something you should think on more.”

“Maybe,” Keith agrees. Now that he thinks about it… yeah. He’s never been especially obsessed with sex like other people seem to be. It was one thing he always liked about his time with Shiro. Shiro would talk to him about important stuff. Like how to take apart a bike, the latest developments in the simulator. They’d talk about how to get the best air on a jump, or how to fight better.

“I would like if you came back with me,” Kolivan says, “we will clean up, and rest together as a Caste. It is nice to be together.”

Keith thinks about seeing Shiro, or even Ulaz, after what happened. Even if nothing happened. He wonders if Awrul will ask about it.

Maybe Keith has been so worked up over Shiro because he's had no one else. And if Kolivan is right, and sex is the fastest way to bring other people in, then… maybe it's worth trying.

“I want to try it,” Keith blurts out, “I— I was watching and a lot of it looked… I don’t know. Good? Maybe I don’t want sex, or maybe I’ve been tricking myself. I want to know.”

“You don’t have to rush,” Kolivan assures him.

“Can we try? Now?” Keith asks. If he doesn’t do this now he knows he’ll lose his nerve.

“There are rules, with your Leader,” Kolivan cautions, “perhaps I should arrange this with someone— Ulaz is very gentle. He would be an excellent—”

“No!” Keith says before Kolivan can finish, “no. I… I trust you. I can try with you.”

Kolivan must hear the underlying nerves that Keith is feeling. He nods in agreement.

“What are the special rules?” Keith asks before they start, “do I have to lick your face too?”

Kolivan laughs at the face Keith makes.

“With other Galra, you may dominate them, or take charge,” Kolivan says, “but I am your Caste Leader. With me, you must let me care for you.”

“Oh, okay.” That doesn’t sound too bad.

He’s never wanted to be, like, the boss. Or totally in charge and cracking the whip, or calling the shots. But he knows he doesn’t like how Shiro gets treated. If someone tried to push Keith around, or grab him the way they do Shiro, Keith would bite them.

Kolivan leans in, pulling Keith close with a big hand, and then he’s rubbing his furry cheek against Keith’s. He’s musky. Keith closes his eyes and tries to nuzzle back. When Kolivan pulls back he licks Keith’s face, slicking his bangs back. His tongue is so big it almost covers half of Keith’s face.

“Disrobe, please,” Kolivan orders.

Keith feels an inclination to not take off his clothes, just because Kolivan asked him to. Then he tells himself to get over that. He’s the one asking for this. Besides, Kolivan is already naked.

Keith stands up to pull his shirt over his head. He makes quick work of his pants, and kicks off his underwear at the same time. Kolivan doesn’t wait for Keith to get his socks off, and settles a huge hand on Keith’s waist. It’s so warm against his skin that Keith flinches.

“You are so small,” Kolivan murmurs.

“I’m growing,” Keith defends himself. He’ll never be as big as a normal Galra, and he’s always been lanky. He’s still hoping for a late growth spurt. Kolian brings another hand to Keith’s waist, and he can touch his fingertips together. It makes Keith feel funny, though he’s not sure if it’s in a good or bad way.

“How does this go?” Keith asks. Kolivan lifts him like it’s a second thought. Keith kicks in surprise. He’s dropped into Kolivan’s lap, facing him, with his legs spread uncomfortably wide across Kolivan’s hips.

“We can start like this,” Kolivan offers. There’s a wet sound, and as Keith glances down he can see Kolivan’s massive cock slide out of it’s sheath. It’s wet, and because Keith is in his lap, it slides up Keith’s thigh and comes to rest against his lower stomach. Keith’s terrified. It’s even bigger up close. The thought of trying to put that anywhere in his body makes him want to recoil in pain.

“You can touch,” Kolivan offers.

Keith’s hand barely wraps around the girth of it, and Kolivan makes an amused rumble when he tries. It… it’s not as hard as he thought it would be. From a distance a closed-up, fresthly unsheathed Galra cock looks like it’s as hard as a stone. Almost like a smooth pinecone, with all the ridges on it. Those are what flare out to make the impression of a ‘blooming flower’. All the Galra have different colors on the underside of these ridges, though Keith doesn’t know why that is. They all have bright pink come though, which is a little funny.

Keith is surprised to find it’s almost spongey in texture. He squeezes lightly, feeling a little give and a harder core underneath.

Wait…

Keith’s brain kicks into overdrive. If they’re soft… He tests his theory by squeezing his fingers together to make a tight ‘O’ shape. Kolivan makes another happy noise as Keith runs his hand up and down Kolivan’s length. The squishy parts of his cock spring back into place as soon as he’s passed over them.

No wonder Shiro could have sex with them without dying. Keith almost breathes a sigh of relief. No matter how big they are, they can squeeze down to a manageable size. Not that Keith wants to try it. Not… at least, not now. But now he knows that he’s not going to get split in half if he does.

Keith continues the motions, jerking Kolivan off. Some slimy precome gets squeezed out from the little ridges, making it easier to move his hand.

“We do this and then we’re best friends?” Keith asks.

“Stop thinking so hard,” Kolivan tells him.

“I don’t want this in me,” Keith says bluntly, “so how else are we going to do this.”

“Impatient,” Kolivan scolds. One hand comes down to the curve of Keith’s ass, and uses that leverage to grind Keith down against Kolivan’s cock. Keith’s not even hard, and the slime feels weird against him there. It’s hot, wet, and… and it does feel good.

Kolivan nuzzles him again, and licks at Keith’s throat. Keith grimaces. He’s getting covered in spit and slime and they’ve barely gotten started. Why are Galra so gross?

“This position is best so we can talk,” Kolivan explains, “you could do this with other Castemates.”

“What do we talk about?” Keith wonders, “the weather? The war?”

“We could,” Kolivan says agreeably, “if that is what makes you happy.”

Keith shrugs. He pulls his hand off of Kolivan’s cock a moment to rub his fingertips together, feeling the ooze of the pink precome between them. It’s got a weird texture— almost tacky, and thick, but still slippery.

“So I should talk about me?” Keith asks, “that seems a little… I don’t know, rude?”

Kolivan shifts his grip on Keith’s ass, and moves his hand so his palm is on Keith’s hip. It puts his thumb right beside Keith’s groin, and he uses the soft pad of his thumb to trace lines up and down Keith’s cock. Keith’s not used to being touched there, and it makes him shiver.

“I am here with you, as someone who is interested in you. I am invested in your happiness.”

“Why?” Keith asks. It doesn’t make sense to him, “is the sex bad if I’m not happy?”

“Do you enjoy the company of unhappy people?” Kolivan retorts.

“I don’t really like people at all,” Keith says, “but when I like people I’m there for them no matter what.” It feels like an accusation, though Keith isn’t sure what he’s accusing Kolivan of.

Kolivan makes a low noise, and Keith can’t figure out if it’s a good sound or not.

The next thing Keith knows he’s on his back, bouncing on his mattress, and Kolivan is climbing on top of him.

Kolivan sighs loudly, “You mean well, but you cannot see past your own limitations.”

Keith feels like he should argue in his own defense, though he’s not sure what he has to defend.

“Talk to me,” Kolivan orders, and then he bends down and licks at Keith’s nipple. His tongue is big, warm and wet. It’s a weird sensation. Keith isn’t sure if he likes it or not, but Kolivan does it again.

“Uh— um— thanks for doing this?” Keith tries.

“You are my Caste,” Kolivan says, “I am delighted that you have come to me for help.”

“Okay.”

Kolivan licks again, and now, this time, there’s a little shiver that races through Keith’s body at the drag of Kolivan’s tongue. It’s definitely leaning towards nice.

“I liked that training drill that we did the other day,” Keith scrambles for new topics. Kolivan grunts in response. What to say, what to say? Why is it so hard to think of conversation? Keith’s never been one for talking. He’s so bad at this.

“The food here is good.” It’s nice to not be eating Altean goo for a little while, even if the Galra food gives him cramps sometimes.

Kolivan squeezes Keith’s other pec in his hand, rolling his palm over the nipple he hasn’t been licking. Keith almost recoils from the touch. Oh! He’s touched his chest several times, but it hasn’t felt like that!

“You haven’t said a single personal thing,” Kolivan remarks, “or asked me about myself.”

Keith’s face heats up, and he almost shoves Kolivan off of him. So this was a test? And he’s failing? Keith didn’t know he was supposed to do certain things— why didn’t Kolivan say that in the first place! He just said Keith should talk.

“How are you?” Keith asks immediately.

“Good. Happy,” Kolivan says, “my Caste is satiated, and that makes me feel like a good Leader.”

There’s enough of a pause afterwards that makes it clear that Keith can’t think of anything more to say on that topic.

“How was the orgy?” Keith barrels ahead.

“You were there,” Kolivan muses.

“I wasn’t really there,” Keith argues, “so, uh, how was it for you?”

“I performed as a Leader,” Kolivan shrugs. Keith thinks back to seeing Kolivan push Shiro onto all fours to have sex with him. He’d performed all right, and not even the Leader of the Blade of Marmora could resist a willing human. It’s all the Galra seem to care about sometimes— when will Shiro have sex with them next? When will Keith stop holding off and let them use him too.

Kolivan licks lower, and now his tongue on Keith’s stomach makes little tingles go up Keith’s spine. This feels good now. Still weird, but more good.

“Was the sex nice?” Keith asks.

Kolivan pauses, “Do you care?”

Keith debates lying for a minute, “Not really.”

“Then don’t ask,” Kolivan says.

He licks more, and kisses at Keith’s skin with long drags of his nose. It almost tickles at a few points, but Keith starts to feel less like he’s enjoying himself and more like he did something wrong. He was honest! He’s making conversation, but Kolivan isn’t helping him either. Why is this so hard?

Kolivan sits up and lays down practically on top of Keith. He’s huge, and soft and warm with fur. His weight makes Keith feel like he’s pinned, even though he knows Kolivan is holding himself up enough to not crush Keith under him.

“Not once did you talk about something that interests you. Or ask about me. Or how you could be participating,” Kolivan says. Keith steels himself. Okay. He’s getting his mission briefing now. All the ways he screwed up.

“I did ask about you! I asked how the orgy was,” Keith says.

“But you didn’t really care,” Kolivan argues, “and I can tell. Why would I talk to you when I know you don’t care. How do we make a connection?”

“Some people just don’t click,” Keith points out, “I don’t get along with a lot of people.”

“You only get along with people who put in all the effort of making a relationship with you,” Kolivan says.

Keith scowls. What does that mean? Keith is a good friend! He cares about Shiro. He does things for Shiro. He’s interested in Shiro’s life…

When was the last time Keith asked about Shiro’s life? Well… no. Shiro didn’t like getting emotional. Keith respected that. So he never pried. When Adam and Shiro broke up, Keith went riding with Shiro and they didn’t talk all day until sunset. And then they talked about Kerberos. Keith was careful not to talk about Adam because he didn’t want to make Shiro sad. That was… that was caring, right?

Keith’s mind immediately contrasts one of their first days riding. When Shiro asked about it, and Keith told him about his dad. How Shiro had smiled at him, hugged him, and made Keith feel like someone was actually hearing him for the first time in a long time.

Oh.

“Do you miss the warriors who’ve died?” Keith asks. And then wishes he could kick himself.

Kolivan pauses, surprised. His dick is leaving slime trails on Keith’s stomach where they’re pressed together.

“Of course,” Kolivan says, “but perhaps that is not the best conversation for this moment.”

Keith can agree with that. He also would like to kick himself for being an idiot. Who starts talking about dead people when they want to have sex?

“I don’t know what to say,” Keith admits.

Kolivan nuzzles his face, “Then ask for help.”

When Keith turns to him, their noses squish together and Kolivan rumbles a happy noise at the kiss.

“What should I say?” Keith asks.

“It’s not what you should say,” Kolivan explains, “having a conversation is a skill. One that you can work on. What if you ask me about ways to have good sex? Or you asked what I like? You could tell me about your time on Earth. I am also your Leader. You could tell me about Castemates you’ve met, the things you’ve done. You could talk to me about being a Paladin. Or something that excited you recently.”

These all feel obvious as Kolivan says them. But Keith knows he wouldn’t have thought of them in a million years. He feels like an idiot. He’s had conversations! He’s talked to people his whole life! Why is he suddenly so bad at it? When did everyone else apparently get so good?

“What…” Keith has to lick his lips before he can continue, “what do you like? What can I do for you?”

Kolivan’s ears point forwards, and he blinks slowly. His eyes stay narrowed, which almost makes him look mad, but Keith’s been quickly studying Galra body language so he knows this means Kolivan is happy.

“Touch here,” Kolivan says, and takes Keith’s hand to put it just under and behind his big ear, “most Galra are sensitive here. Don’t— ah— slower. Gently. Some may like if you dig your fingers in.”

“But not you?” Keith guesses.

“Later,” Kolivan promises.

Keith reaches up with his other hand and rubs slow circles right under Kolivan’s ears. He can’t really feel anything under Kolivan’s fur or skin, like he thought he might, but Kolivan starts to rumble a delighted purr. Keith can also smell pheromones, which are only getting stronger. He wonders if he’s doing something to Kolivan’s scent glands, and that’s what feels nice.

Kolivan ducks his head to nuzzle his face across Keith’s chest again. The vibration of his purr feels pretty good.

“Keep talking,” Kolivan orders, and shuffles back on the bed. He uses his big hand to keep Keith’s hands where they are, as he leans down and licks up Keith’s cock. Keith gasps.

“Uh,uh,” Keith stammers, “uh— space is amazing! I knew I wanted to fly, but, the Red Lion is the coolest ship I’ve ever seen.”

Kolivan’s tongue is muscular enough to wrap under Keith’s cock, and half-curls around it to almost make a sleeve. Keith’s never felt anything like that. He knows Kolivan has sharp fangs, but he trusts Kolivan not to bite him. His tongue presses against Keith’s testicles, laps forcefully at the head of Keith’s cock. Wow! Keith’s surprised by how hard it is to think now. He never thought he could get so distracted.

“If you didn’t have the war to fight, where would you fly?” Kolivan asks.

“Everywhere!” Keith almost shouts, because the answer is accompanied with another long lick, “I want to see the whole universe! There’s so much to explore, so much to see.”

“Would you go to Earth?”

Keith wrinkles his nose, “No. There’s nothing for me there.”

Kolivan pauses, and Keith feels a little upset about that. This sex thing was finally starting to feel good. He’s actually a little out of breath, and feels hot inside. He wonders if he’s flushed like when he works out.

Kolivan studies him again, and Keith worries that another round of pity is going to start. It’s a good thing that he doesn’t need to go back to Earth for anything. It means he can explore forever. Besides, he’s used to not having a real home. It’s more comfortable to be light and free.

“Lay on your side,” Kolivan orders, “cross your ankles.”

Keith rolls over obediently. Kolivan’s doing pretty well so far, so Keith’s willing to trust whatever he’s going to do. Kolivan lays down behind him, his cock leaves a slimy trail across Keith’s ass, and Keith shoots him a worried glance over his shoulder.

“Not in me!” Keith warns.

“I remember,” Kolivan assures him, “keep your legs together as much as possible.”

Keith wonders what he’s doing. Kolivan wraps his arms around him, pulling Keith back into his chest, and angles his hips just enough that it turns Keith onto his front just ever-so-slightly. And then one of Kolivan’s hands is on his hip, and Kolivan’s pulling his hips back as Keith can feel his hips move forwards, and Kolivan’s thick, spongy, wet cock is forcing itself between Keith’s thighs.

Keith is surprised enough that he flinches away, and Kolivan chuckles.

“It doesn’t fit,” Keith mutters.

“That’s part of the appeal,” Kolivan says.

They try again. Keith looks down, now that he knows what to expect, and watches Kolivan’s cock slide out under his cock, nudging up against his balls. And then slides back, with Keith’s thighs squeezing out more pink liquid.

The touch of their cocks together felt like a spark of electricity. Keith has butterflies in his stomach. Kolivan breathes heavily in his ear, huge hands holding and guiding the movement of their bodies. He starts thrusting a little harder, and Keith bounces on the impacts. Kolivan’s cock drags across his groin. There’s so much power in the movement that it makes Keith’s mouth get a little dry. Offhand he wonders how it would feel to have Kolivan actually fucking him. His stomach turns, like he might get sick, or like when he’s anxious right before a drop. Keith can’t tell if it’s a good or bad feeling anymore.

Keith hooks his ankles together to keep Kolivan from forcing his legs apart. Kolivan’s breath is hot and wet against his skin.

“I want you to come back,” Kolivan rumbles into Keith’s ear, “I want you to have a home here. To have roots that you can return to.”

“I’ll come back,” Keith agrees. He can’t take his eyes off of Kolivan’s cock thrusting between his thighs. He can feel the thickness of it, even with how spongey it is, and he keeps picturing how it would feel inside of him. Maybe there’s a reason Shiro lets the Galra treat him like a plaything.

“I like you,” Keith says, and Kolivan grunts in his ear as he thrusts, “like— everyone. The Caste. It’s been so cool to meet good Galra, to learn about myself and—”

Keith gasps as Kolivan licks at his throat. He feels the trace scrape of Kolivan’s fangs on his skin. One of Kolivan’s big hands— bigger than Keith’s head— reaches down to wrap around Keith’s cock. Keith’s hips jerk in reflex, but Kolivan is holding him with the other arm and his own body weight. Keith’s pinned. And he allows it.

“You’ve been alone for so long,” Kolivan rumbles, and he nuzzles his nose into Keith’s hair, “it hurts my heart to see how you’ve been hurt.”

It’s a weird thing to say when Kolivan is using the force of his thrust to push Keith’s cock into the tight grip of Kolivan’s fist.

“I never had a lot of friends, back on Earth,” Keith admits.

“Humans are not as open as Galra,” Kolivan agrees.

Keith looks down at himself, wrapped up in Kolivan’s arms and having sex with the man who calls himself Leader, who throws orgies as a bonding activity, and tries to imagine something like this happening at the Garrison. Keith laughs.

“They’re different,” Keith says.

“You couldn’t be understood until you were with your own kind,” Kolivan says. He squeezes Keith’s cock and Keith moans.

“There,” Kolivan sounds happy, even if Keith can’t see his face, “is this good for you?”

“Yeah,” Keith says, “it is.”

“Thank you for trusting me,” Kolivan says. He rubs his face in Keith’s hair, nuzzling his scent glands against Keith like a happy cat. He’s purring so loudly that Keith can feel the vibration in his ribs.

Keith arches his back as Kolivan squeezes his cock, and thrusts between his legs. It feels delightful, in ways Keith didn’t know he could feel. There’s a simmering heat in his gut, like hot coals, and electricity racing up his spine. It makes him curl his toes and push back into Kolivan’s touch.

Kolivan rumbles a delighted growl. He angles his shoulders forwards which pushes Keith onto his front. For a moment Keith is pinned under Kolivan, his ankles hooked together and Kolivan’s slick cock forcing his legs apart, and he feels trapped. He shoves upwards, trying to throw Kolivan off, and Kolivan responds so quickly that it must be instinct. He puts his open mouth to the back of Keith’s neck, sweaty hair and all. Keith goes still at the feeling of teeth against his skin. He can feel Kolivan’s hot breath as the Galra pants.

The coals in Keith’s gut turn to a hot rage. This is what he hated. This is what was holding him back. Just because he’s smaller, just because he’s part human, the Galra think they can push him around—

“Calm,” Kolivan orders.

“Get off!”

Keith breathes as Kolivan lifts himself up onto his elbows. Now he’s not being pinned down, but the fury doesn’t go away. Keith pushes himself up on his forearms, so he’s not laying on his stomach and defenseless. Kolivan’s chest rubs against his back every time the Galra inhales.

“You’re upset?” Kolivan realizes.

Everything had gone from being good, to not good, so fast. And it happened the instant Kolivan tried to make Keith submit to him. Had tried to pin him, like the Galra do to others they consider weaker than them.

“You’re treating me like Shiro,” Keith bites out.

“I was changing positions,” Kolivan says gently.

“You almost bit me,” Keith says. The way their hips are flush together, Kolivan’s cock is curled up to press against Keith’s on the bed. It’s warm and slimy, and every time Keith moves the raised ridges of it feel good against his own penis.

“Disciplinary,” Kolivan agrees, “there was no need for you to fight.”

“You pinned me,” Keith reminds him, “I told you—”

“I told you it would be different with your Leader,” Kolivan says firmly, “I am not just any Galra to you. I do not demand you to go against your nature, instead I expect you deference to my authority.”

“Because you’re leader you get to treat me however you want?” Keith says.

“Because I’m Leader, I get to care for you,” Kolivan corrects him.

“I don’t like being pushed around,” Keith grumbles. He wonders how mad Kolivan will be if Keith says he wants to stop.

“You are uncomfortable because you don’t know how to be cared for,” Kolivan says, and it’s accompanied by a lick of Kolivan’s broad tongue on his shoulder, “and because submission does not come easily to you.”

Keith can agree with that. He’s never bowed or given in to anyone he didn’t respect. But it’s never seemed like such a sexual thing until Kolivan said it.

“I don’t want to be treated like Shiro,” Keith says again, “I want to be in control.”

“Good,” Kolivan says. The bed shifts as Kolivan brings his knees up under him to lift his hips, and he uses a free hand to pull Keith’s hips up with him. It puts Keith in a position of almost having his ass above his head, with Kolivan curled over his back.

“Respect that side of you,” Kolivan agrees, “do not deny your nature. But, there is more to life than control. It is an act of trust to control someone else, but it can be a stronger act to give that up to someone.”

This is the same position that Kolivan fucked Shiro in. How a lot of the Galra had sex with Shiro. Keith swallows his nerves, and the need to fight out of Kolivan’s grip. He can trust Kolivan.

Keith has so little control like this that his heart hammers against his chest. He hates it. He feels helpless.

“Knees together,” Kolivan reminds him, and begins thrusting again when Keith complies. There’s more force like this, and Keith has to throw his hands out to brace himself.

“You’re home now,” Kolivan explains, “your Caste will care for you. It’s safe to be open, to trust. You will not be abandoned again, Keith.”

Keith opens his mouth to argue— he’s never been worried about being abandoned. He likes being alone, it’s what he knows. But instead of any correction to Kolivan’s words, Keith can only make a strangled sound not too far from a sob.

“I have you,” Kolivan whispers, and he licks up the side of Keith’s throat. His body surrounds Keith, hot, solid and hairy, and he rocks Keith’s whole body with every thrust. His hand is so big that it easily covers Keith’s cock when he jerks Keith off again.

“I will protect you,” Kolivan promises, and he nuzzles at Keith’s jawline so he can say right into Keith’s ear, “you are loved.”

Keith comes quickly after that.  
  


* * *

  
Kolivan rocks Keith through his orgasm, and then gathers Keith up in his arms. Keith’s vaguely aware that Kolivan is still hard, that his cock is only half-bloomed, but his head feels spacy and it’s hard to hold onto thoughts. Keith holds onto the Galra and nuzzles into Kolivan’s chest as Kolivan rocks him gently.

Keith’s jerked off on his own a few times. Sometimes it’s nice to do before bed, and sometimes he just wakes up hard and has to deal with it. So he’s come before. He’s had orgasms. He’s never had anything like this. His whole body feels like cooked spaghetti. He’s limp, and soft, and wants to stay this close to Kolivan, where he can hear Kolivan’s heartbeat, and mould himself to the shape of Kolivan’s arms.

Kolivan licks his forehead, slicking Keith’s sweaty bangs back. Keith scrunches up his nose and Kolivan chuckles.

“Was that nice?” Kolivan asks.

“Yeah,” Keith mumbles.

Kolivan seems amused by the response. He laughs, though Keith isn’t sure what he said that was so funny, “It was good for me too.”

They sit like that for a while longer, until Keith comes back to himself.

“That was different,” Keith says.

“That was with love,” Kolivan explains.

Keith can feel the back of his neck heat up as Kolivan says the word. He never would have considered Galra to be emotional, sappy people.

“Thanks,” Keith says, in lieu of having anything else to say, “I liked it.”

Kolivan butts heads with him, and starts purring louder. Keith nuzzles him back, and their noses squish together a few times. Post-coital kissing, Keith notes. He figures he’s okay with it.

Kolivan’s wet cock is touching his hip, where he’s sprawled in Kolivan’s lap.

“You didn’t finish,” Keith points out.

“I don’t need to,” Kolivan assures him, “I had the orgy.”

Keith looks down at the thick length of it. He’s still curious, now, what it would feel like to have it inside of him. He’s not sure if he’s curious enough to ever try it, even if he knows that it’s mostly soft and compresses to a smaller size.

The outer layer of Kolivan’s cock is dark blue, while the underside of the ‘petals’ of his cock are bright blue. It contrasts with the luminescent pink of his precome that’s beading and dripping down his length. Keith reaches out curiously to rub one of the ridges between his fingers. It’s soft, though covered in viscous precome, and Kolivan shudders at the touch.

Keith brings his fingers to his mouth and curiously licks at the come. He’s not sure what he was expecting— maybe sugary sweet? Based on the pink color. It’s thick, and sits heavy on his tongue. He has to swirl his tongue around a bit before he can actually swallow it. It’s not salty either, but rather almost… savory. There’s a hint of sweetness, and almost an earthy tone to it. Like… like a hint of some fruit. Maybe a berry.

It’s not unpleasant, as far as what Keith was expecting.

“Can I try something?” Keith asks.

“Of course,” Kolivan says.

Keith reluctantly crawls out of Kolivan’s lap so he can kneel in front of him. He takes Kolivan’s cock in his hand near the middle to hold it steady— the slimy-spongy feeling is strange, and Keith almost gets distracted in playing with that, but he leans in and licks at the tip.

Kolivan chirrups excitedly.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Keith admits, “but I want to try it.”

“I do not mind the practice,” Kolivan assures him.

The ridges at the tip of Kolivan’s cock are unfurled, but they’re not as large as the ones further down his length. Keith still has to open his mouth wide, and figure out the right angle to try and get them in. He ends up with a ridge pressed to his cheek, smearing sticky come on his face. There’s no way to do this without getting messy.

He also can’t take very much of Kolivan in. How does Shiro do it? Keith gets too far down and gags, and has to back off. Kolivan’s narrower at the tip, and at his widest his cock is at least as big as a pop can, if not bigger. Keith feels dwarfed in comparison. Even his hand looks small.

He licks around the open ridges, towards the firmer core underneath, and gets more pink come to ooze out. When he shoves his tongue into the spaces between, Kolivan purrs louder and his cock twitches. Keith’s tongue gets covered with thick come, and it gets all over his face. He tries bobbing his head on the tip, just sucking at what he can fit in his mouth. That’s not too bad. His jaw aches from keeping his mouth open to keep his teeth away.

It’s not an unpleasant experience. And it seems to delight Kolivan. The Galra’s ears are forwards, pointed at Keith, but twitching and his eyes are narrowed as he keeps blinking down at Keith. Keith likes that he can do this to make Kolivan happy, and that he’s in control of this. But he also thinks he could only do this for one Galra, maybe two, before his face would hurt too much.

Keith sits up and wipes at his face with the back of his wrist. Both of his hands are sticky with come.

“Thanks,” Keith says, “I know it probably wasn’t that great—”

“It was wonderful,” Kolivan says. He reaches out to take Keith’s hands in his and starts licking them. His tongue is blue, and thick enough that it can practically cover Keith’s palm with one swipe. Kolivan licks between Keith’s fingers before he’s content, and then gestures for Keith to come closer.

Keith already knows what’s coming when he leans in. Kolivan holds his head in his hands and laps up the rest of his come smeared on Keith’s face.

Shiro had warned Keith about that too. How the Galra like sharing body fluids.

“If you need more practice, all you have to do is ask,” Kolivan says. Keith laughs.

“Thank you,” Keith says again, and he gestures between them, “for, um, for this. I guess I have a lot to think about.”

Kolivan tugs Keith closer, and Keith willingly goes to him. It’s nice to curl up at Kolivan’s side.

“You were very brave,” Kolivan praises him, “I’m proud of you.”

“I don’t know if I want to have sex with anyone else,” Keith admits, and looks up to Kolivan’s face, “this was nice— it was good. I liked it. But I don’t know if I want to do more.”

“Then you will find other ways to bond with your Caste,” Kolivan says, “I can help. I want to see you happy.”

Keith believes that.

“Would you like to come join us for sleep?” Kolivan asks, and he looks down at Keith’s bed, covered in sweat and come from the two of them, “I would recommend it.”

It would be nice. To be near others, to be held like how Kolivan is holding him.

But Shiro will also be there.

“I don’t know,” Keith admits. Maybe Kolivan is right, and sex does lead to intimacy, or maybe Keith doesn’t know how to handle himself after sex, but he feels the truth tumbling out before he can stop it.

“It hurts to see Shiro with the others. With Ulaz. Because I want him. And it’s not fair that I was here first! I’ve always been here, and he doesn’t want me.”

Kolivan’s arms wrap around Keith tightly and pull him close. Keith almost feels suffocated. He tangles his fingers in Kolivan’s fur and holds tight.

“Little one,” Kolivan rumbles, “this is hard on your heart. I am sorry for this pain.”

“And maybe it’s because I didn’t have anyone else,” Keith babbles, “maybe I don’t know how to have friends. Maybe I’m so messed up that I don’t know the difference—”

“I believe you,” Kolivan cuts him off, “I believe you care. I know you have a grand capacity to care for others. And I know Shiro cares deeply for you too.”

“Not how I want,” Keith whimpers.

“No,” Kolivan agrees, “not like that.”

“I can’t be with the Caste until I get over that,” Keith decides.

“I think being with the Caste is the only way to ease the pain,” Kolivan argues, “you think isolating yourself is the only way to deal with things. You are wrong.”

Keith feels bitter. He wants to argue.

“Spend time with your castemates. Make connections. Stop being lonely.”

“And what? I’ll just stop being in love with Shiro?” Keith mutters.

“No,” Kolivan says, “but I think you will discover how to be a good friend.”

Keith sucks in a sharp breath. He is a good friend! He rescued Shiro! How many times has he saved Shiro’s life? Who else would do that for Shiro?

Then Keith thinks about what they’ve talked about. Keith hasn’t been there emotionally. He hasn’t been invested in Shiro’s life the way a friend should.

In an instant: Keith can see how Ulaz won Shiro over. Ulaz wanted connection, to get emotional, and to care about Shiro’s wellbeing in ways that Keith didn’t know how. Ulaz was willing to be open.

“I don’t know if I’ll be good at it,” Keith admits.

“You won’t know until you try,” Kolivan urges.

Keith breathes deeply. He and Kolivan have talked about so much that Keith isn’t sure he’s even ready to understand it all.

“Okay,” he decides, “I’ll come to the slumber party. But I’m wearing pants.”

Kolivan laughs, “As long as you are happy.”  
  


* * *

  
Yutuk and Haela are on the edge of the group nest. Keith has a feeling that Shiro is here somewhere— he thinks he saw Ulaz somewhere on the other side— but he’s specifically not looking for him.

The two young Galra are wrapped around each other, noses twitching as they purr happily in each others’ embrace.

Haela cracks an eye open as Keith edges himself into the nest. His ears come forwards and he blinks both eyes open in surprise. Yutuk stirs as Haela yawns widely, showing off his sharp teeth.

Keith feels overwhelmed. He feels like a fool, begging to fit in at the edge of the nest.

“Can I join?” Keith asks nervously.

There’s mumbles of talk as Kolivan joins the nest further away from them. Keith doesn’t take his eyes off the two Galra.

He shouldn’t have picked Yutuk and Haela. They’re such close friends that it’s pointless to think that they’d want Keith to interrupt their bonding time. They were just the first ones he saw that he thought he might be comfortable with.

“Want to be in the middle?” Haela asks. Yutuk grumbles and nuzzles his head under Haela’s chin.

Keith thinks about being pressed in between two hot and stinky Galra. He shakes his head no.

Haela pats the space behind Yutuk.

Keith crawls in cautiously. It was weird of him to ask if he could join them, and then not actually join them. Why is he so bad at this? They must think he’s stupid.

He lays down on his back, just behind Yutuk, and waits. This isn’t comfortable. He rolls onto his side, back to Yutuk and Haela, and curls his knees up towards himself. He’s not touching anyone, or disturbing them. This is a good start, he figures. At least he’s here.

Yutuk snorts loudly, and rolls over. Haela’s whispering something at him.

Keith looks over his shoulder. Yutuk’s facing him now, and Haela is peeking over his shoulder.

“We haven’t seen you in a nest before,” Haela says.

Keith swallows his embarrassment, “I— I haven’t done this before.”

Yutuk asks, “Come here!”

“He doesn’t want to be in the middle,” Haela says quickly.

“Oh,” Yutuk says, and looks back to Keith, “sorry.”

They’re both acting like he’s liable to flee if they get too close. Which… has been true. Keith hasn’t let anyone get close to him. Emotionally or physically. At the same time, being boxed in feels overwhelming. Keith is so used to sleeping alone, he doesn’t think he could do it sandwiched between the two Galra.

“Could you be in the middle?” Keith tries.

Yutuk’s ears come up, “Yeah,” he says.

Keith rolls over, and now he’s facing Yutuk and Haela. He scoots closer. Both Yutuk and Haela start sniffing curiously.

“You smell like Leader,” Haela realizes.

“We, uh, yeah,” Keith admits.

Yutuk wiggles closer, and now he’s pressed up against Keith and bumping his forehead into Keith’s. Haela practically crawls over him to nuzzle Keith as well.

“But you weren’t at the orgy!” Haela whines, “we looked for you!”

“It’s not really my thing,” Keith admits. That much is true. Having sex with Kolivan was novel, but Keith doesn’t feel an overwhelming urge to do it again.

“Oh,” Yutuk says. He sounds confused.

“But, um,” and now Keith tries to think about what else Kolivan had said to him about making connections, “do you think we, like, both of you and me, could find something else? To do together?”

“Like training?” Haela asks, confused.

Keith has to steel himself to not retreat when he says, “No. Like— like friends.”

**Author's Note:**

> (Keith does try penetrative sex eventually, with Regris)
> 
> To clarify: I hc Keith as being somewhere on the ace spectrum. He's not repulsed by sex, but he's not very interested in it. This is also coupled with a very dominant personality, meaning he has a LOT of trouble figuring out his place with the Caste when the Caste is used to Shiro, who is very submissive, and very, very sexual. Keith's lack of experience led to him assuming he'd have to be just like Shiro (submissive and willing at all times), but we saw with Kolivan that he's realizing he can have things on his terms, which makes it more likely that he might join in on sexual activities in the future. 
> 
> To further clarify: Keith may very well be in love with Shiro! But it's also troubling that Shiro is the ONLY person in Keith's life that Keith is open to. It's a lot of burden on one relationship, and not healthy at all. Kolivan is urging Keith to make more connections and friendships with others to relieve that strain. Keith has to learn that being friends doesn't just mean 'i'll risk my life for you', but it's also the little moments of having skin in the game- of being emotionally invested in someone and having them return the favor.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <33


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